i've never once said to my parents thank you,
ever since i was small i've always been a nuisance to my parents,
i'm lazy when it comes to studying,
i never helped around the house,
and i always see my parents envious of other parents who has the "model children",
though i've always been sorry to them for being like this,
i always mess up because i never think before doing something,
i always want to do things my way and never think of how it affect other things or people around me,
and now i'm feeling terrible because today i drove my dad's car without permission, not thinking of what the consequences would be, i drove it around, not far though, because i myself am scared with driving,
but after i went driving i wanted to park the car, as i was about to park it, i stepped on the gas, and drove straight into a shoe rack, as a result the front of the car was not absolutely wrecked but i'd say it's bad.
the thing is, it is expected from me to do something like this and i really hate that,
i didn't want to mess up,
but then i really felt the power of parent's permission,
even so now i'm really apolegetic and i want to pay for the damage but the fact that i don't have the money is really bothering me!
i really want to run away now.
but the moral of the story is to listen to your parents.
whatever it is you should listen.
because the time of joy you feel when you rebel against your parents is just one millisecond compared to how you would feel if it went wrong.the you'll feel like a second is like as year.

17th March 2011

Dear S,

this blog is about a daughter who has never done good to her parents,
a rebel's experience,
someday i hope this blog will bring good to people,
actually,
i have decide to start blogging events of my life where i have disappointed myself or others i hopes that you will learn from it,
i wish i can say this out to everyone,
i'm the type that cannot open up to people,
even if that someone is my family member or a close friend,
in the past i've done many things that hurt others
i don't really know why things like this happen but it is said that our lives have been planned out,
we can try to change it but in the end it's all in God's hands,
my dream since i was small was to be a singer,
eventhough growing up i would change my dream every often,
i've realised that it always comes back to being a singer,
and i've enjoyed singing since i was small,
though my parents are against it,
if i get the chance i really want to be a singer,
my passion for singing is not the only reason for my dream,
i've noticed that recently teenagers really look up to famous people,
but to me all the celebrities have been negative influence on them
i wanted to reach out to these people,
so that one day they can create a generation that is proud.